one week down

Hello,

How are you? I figured out I like this writing thing more if I pretend its to someone, like a letter or whatnot. So its been just over a week since the no more spiel, in that time I've broken more of my rules from before it isn't even funny. For example, one of my first rules was to be on time for work ( I have time issues) and this week I think I was on time for work once maybe?...I use to have to check in by text but that sorta slacked off before when I quit my previous employment. Then there was a rule about going to bed on time ( in theory when get to bed on time means getting up on time, again about the time issues) yup whole week and some change not once did I go to bed at a decent time....I played video games =)

I've come to the conclusion, I'm being s brat flouting all my rules and regulations in an effort to get a spanking that's just not going to come. That was a very disheartening thought...as much as I want one right now, there is NO chance in hell of getting one. It was a surprise to me how much I miss it. There wasn't much going on it that area for me in July so I figured no big deal....I will go back to how I was before starting on this road.

AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are no U turns allowed on this road folks, sorry hope you have your GPS cause now you have to forge a new road and its going to be bumpy.

I almost want to cry, and if you know me you know this I don't cry, as in ever, funeral no tears, broken bone...no tears, broken tooth...ok this one was an almost but teeth and mouth pain is a whole nother can o' worms. Surmise to say I'm not a crier...but some times wonder if I'm missing something on/with/for it. I don't know. Again towards the end you get the random ramblings of a very bored chic, who thinks to much and is in dire need of a swatting....but most likely won't get one :( well at the very least no today....but I'm off work today so there's always tomorrow

HAHAHA trolling for someone to smack bottom, hehehehehe that could be a fun tale, or I'd end up on the other side of the bars at work ( I work at a jail)

game over.....insert more credits

So if you read this blog from the start ( its not the long) you know that I started writing this as a sorta counter part to a blog written by a wife in a Domestic Discipline marriage. Granted it is mostly my feelings and take on the spankings, rules, and such. Well as much as a hate to say it the him part of the duo said we had to have a talk on Saturday, so after I got off work he came over and he talked mostly and I listened adding my 2 cents we need be. All in all with everything going on between army stuff, family stuff, and life stuff there isn't enough time.

Now I have two general trains of thought on this. The stronger and rational one being: ok, I can totally see the point and the why and the how. Yes, your hella fucking busy and she has school and now a job, and plus two kiddos, damn, your just running out of time now!!! The other train is not so nice and I can't rationalize where it came from but goes: damn you to hell, you guys suck. lol, yes I laugh. Because I told my best friend and they where some what mad on my behalf,.....which I didn't get? There is no reason to be mad, why? It isn't like being stringed along, that would suck on a whole nother level and would be madding. Now yes, I wasn't happy about it, I've grown rather attached to them and their family, then it dawns on me, I envy them. God how I envy them. I was prived to the workings of a family on a level I haven't before. That is something I liked greatly and that and much more is just gone. Granted they want to stay friends which is awesome because they are such cool people.



.........but its not the same =(

had to share

saw this on post secret and had to share....it is amazing whats out there you just didn't have the eyes open enough to see it before, then boom I see it more and more.

....

So I start by saying sorry July was so very sparse on the postings. On a spanking stand point you got to know about my one and only spanking for the month....jury is still out on if I'm happy or not on that. Good news is the counter part of my favorite duo is back!!!! but I haven't seen her so it my be a big conspiracy, hahaha. I went out into the wilds again for a camping trip the day she came home so, it was a ships in the night moment.

I had issues with the fact that my radio/stereo in my car stopped working little over a week ago, so on the hourish drive to the place where I was camping over the weekend I got left in my head. Normally that is fine, great even I can entertain myself very well, but this time it just left reflection of deep thoughts from earlier in the week. By the time I got to the camp ground I was the closest to crying that I have been in about 9 years. I hate that all the control I have so careful hoarded and measured out is strained and sadden by the thoughts of wants, needs, and emotions I squashed and gave up on a long time ago. They are there now taunting me, damn things, maybe I didn't want to need or want certain aspects in life, maybe I was ok and prepared even for going with out. The Fates it seems are still just as fickle and ever such the sharing three bitches. *sigh* what do you do.....

OK off the melancholy note, as for more exciting postage, I don't know when that will be, the duo is having some family time, much needed after time apart. So you get the drivel from my head, which shouldn't be any more like the blah from above =) I'm off from now, my blood to be taken errrrgggaa, not really a fan of this game but then who really is?