Wednesday, September 1, 2010
workworkwork
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
one week down
Monday, August 9, 2010
game over.....insert more credits
Now I have two general trains of thought on this. The stronger and rational one being: ok, I can totally see the point and the why and the how. Yes, your hella fucking busy and she has school and now a job, and plus two kiddos, damn, your just running out of time now!!! The other train is not so nice and I can't rationalize where it came from but goes: damn you to hell, you guys suck. lol, yes I laugh. Because I told my best friend and they where some what mad on my behalf,.....which I didn't get? There is no reason to be mad, why? It isn't like being stringed along, that would suck on a whole nother level and would be madding. Now yes, I wasn't happy about it, I've grown rather attached to them and their family, then it dawns on me, I envy them. God how I envy them. I was prived to the workings of a family on a level I haven't before. That is something I liked greatly and that and much more is just gone. Granted they want to stay friends which is awesome because they are such cool people.
.........but its not the same =(
Thursday, August 5, 2010
had to share
Monday, August 2, 2010
....
I had issues with the fact that my radio/stereo in my car stopped working little over a week ago, so on the hourish drive to the place where I was camping over the weekend I got left in my head. Normally that is fine, great even I can entertain myself very well, but this time it just left reflection of deep thoughts from earlier in the week. By the time I got to the camp ground I was the closest to crying that I have been in about 9 years. I hate that all the control I have so careful hoarded and measured out is strained and sadden by the thoughts of wants, needs, and emotions I squashed and gave up on a long time ago. They are there now taunting me, damn things, maybe I didn't want to need or want certain aspects in life, maybe I was ok and prepared even for going with out. The Fates it seems are still just as fickle and ever such the sharing three bitches. *sigh* what do you do.....
OK off the melancholy note, as for more exciting postage, I don't know when that will be, the duo is having some family time, much needed after time apart. So you get the drivel from my head, which shouldn't be any more like the blah from above =) I'm off from now, my blood to be taken errrrgggaa, not really a fan of this game but then who really is?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
hello
I think in a way I was asking for one, granted when he or rather Sir started pulling multiply implements out of a box, I was hastily rethinking this choice. Particularly after Sir broke a spoon after 2 swats to my behind. After that I didn't look to see what was being used, but the sitting still and not saying anything that I normally do well at, was not there this time. I added to my punishment by sitting back and taking my rump out of the cross hairs a few times. I wonder if I have lost the tolerance that I had or my other thought is because its different when she's not here? Sir had made an appearance on the weekend when we where being goofy and wrestling on the floor, Sir had the upper hand and demanded/asked for my submission and it took a long time till I finally gave in. He said there was going to be a excise in submission later, because of outside stuff that did not happen but I keep thinking about it, wondering what it was or is? Sir is devise like that when you stop thinking about it is when he gets ya...
On a mundane note I got a new job!!!!!!!!YAY...........hehehe I'm going to be working at the county jail.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
it should die in a fire!
Happy 4th of July
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
finish ummkay
....turn over one to your tummy, whoot i'm thinking gonna get sum YAY!!!.....annnnt wrong....the swats begain bare hand to a basicly bare ass. so in my smartness between swats i start talking, what, swat, am ,swat. i, swat, gettting, swat, a, swat, beating, swat, for, swat, swat, swat, swat, swat, hello, swat, swat,....swat keep going, and i get a mumbled gonna tell me no, swat, swat,...well i cant say no im going to tell you no, cause thats saying no, so in my blonde moment i say this....swatswatswatswatswatswatswat.....he layed back down...couple mins pass i wimper a little and he looks at mw whats worng? umm my ass is sore but i'm good, confused as hell but good, ok,nite sweety. break to the next day, after noon i get a small beat on with the fish, i'll have to explain fish later..kinda funny, and i'm rubbing the poor abused butt and he askes why, i should be healed from last thursday.....i gave a puzzled look and ask and what about last night? his turn to look puzzled, he has no recollection of us girls coming to bed with him, he thought we sayed up......holy crap i got a sleep walking spanking!!!! ummkay i didnt know that was possible
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
ummkay
Thursday, June 24, 2010
grrrr
It's frustrating knowing something that you can't change....ie: today marks Three weeks since I've had a real spanking. by real I mean an all out, your being punished spanking. I got two what I would term as teasers or minis, one wasn't hard or anything more of this is the leather strap and your within striking distance, thought you two should say hello kind of a thing. The other was that mini like four swats with a charger cord, it was bad because I couldn't stop laughing so got two more swats before I had to bite hand to stop till he went up stairs.
Anyways frustrated, because I know I'm due for one, earned punishment yesterday with being late, and have been told I'm being semi-disrespectful or get to big for my britches. Whats so bad about that you ask? Well nothing but he is in class for the next week, so the appearance of Sir most likely not seen for a bit or the end of class. It gives me the "grrr"s. Then I feel guilty cause he cant help that or being tired.
So she and I bicker or what I would call play fight and mostly it is all fun and games. There have been a couple times I wonder about but we work it out. Now we both get told no more got to get along. We are? Just because its not clear to you how we are communicating doesn't mean it isn't working for us.
Ok last part of my venting, so get a text saying I tryed to get a kiss, but you just got up and left. That was yesterday morning. Mmmmkay my bad was still waking up, well then no kiss goodnight, bummer but no big deal. Cut to this morning, alarm goes off several times, its either snoozed or turned off, whatever not mine, mine goes off..SNOOZE, oh button how I love thee, goes off again, I get up gather all my junk, lean over, rub an arm to get attention..what happens, looks at phone to see time "fuck" and closes eyes again, so I kiss a cheek, all I get is a grunt that comes across as don't touch me. Insert sad panda face here. This wasn't a grr as much as a well that sucked in a non-fun way. When I left think I was the only one awake. That just bites
Monday, June 21, 2010
what the hell was i thinking
Ohhh...what hell was i thinking....you see 1.i hate writing 2. my spelling is horrid 3. i have enough to do 4. why not?
sooo that's one loop in the mass highway system of my brain. i think i started this as a way to say the things i have such issues trying to say out loud. maybe....maybe not.....i have no idea currently....spur of the moment choice....whoot...
I'm involved in a relationship that is complicated in the very least to my own eyes. see its a couple, they are married and have a beautiful family. she calls me their speical friend, i don't know what he defines it as. i asked once what he told people, as he had just asked me, he said a couple guys at work knew that he has a wife and this girl that he beats on who likes it and they fuck. i should explain the "beats on" bit humm, see they as a couple do domestic discipline, so there is that too. add to that a Dominate/submissive aspect to the dynamic as a whole. does your brain hurt yet.. :) they asked if i was ashamed of what is going on, and I'm not but makes me wonder if they are, they say no but sometimes i still wonder. she asks a lot of the time "whats going on in your head or what are you thinking" some times i really dont know and i think that frustrates her, as she whats to talk about it, other times there is this block in my throut and the words just cant escape, i hate when it happens when he is asking questions during discipline or a leacture, cause then i get the eyebrows of doom...secretly at times i find them sexy as hell...lets hope he don't find that out.now oddly enough if you would have told me a year ago I'd be involved like this, i would have laughed at you, hell even 6 months ago. but it seems right, well....most days, sometimes it fells like I'm intruding, for example i walked into a room and they where talking they both stop and look at me till i finish and leave the room, now not saying that's bad i don't want it to come across that way. just feeling in the pit of stomach of holy crap intruding *abort*abort*move as fast as possible away*beep*beep* however then there is the time that is just awesome to be at their house, cause I've spent most if not all of my free time there. hahaha i teased my room mates girl friend that she is always at our house, paying rent on a shower and changing room....hummm i live in a glass house so it seems...note to self no throwing stones ;)
oyi yes I'm rambling, my grammar sucks, but i work on that later. but i have to run, cant be late for work or gets me a smack bottom...yup...yup...life gets intresting when we least expect it