workworkwork

sorry its been two weeks, but it has been work, work, work. which is good for the pocketbook but not so much fun for the social life, not that there is much of one anyhow. Nothing to report on from a spanking stand point, more of a view of tumble weeds rolling along a dusty ghost town. humm I seem to be in a picture building mood. It was suggested to me to go out to the local kink community meet and greet night and find a spanking. I haven't decided if I'm going to or not....the lack of time is helping me procrastinate on making that choice.

one week down

Hello,

How are you? I figured out I like this writing thing more if I pretend its to someone, like a letter or whatnot. So its been just over a week since the no more spiel, in that time I've broken more of my rules from before it isn't even funny. For example, one of my first rules was to be on time for work ( I have time issues) and this week I think I was on time for work once maybe?...I use to have to check in by text but that sorta slacked off before when I quit my previous employment. Then there was a rule about going to bed on time ( in theory when get to bed on time means getting up on time, again about the time issues) yup whole week and some change not once did I go to bed at a decent time....I played video games =)

I've come to the conclusion, I'm being s brat flouting all my rules and regulations in an effort to get a spanking that's just not going to come. That was a very disheartening thought...as much as I want one right now, there is NO chance in hell of getting one. It was a surprise to me how much I miss it. There wasn't much going on it that area for me in July so I figured no big deal....I will go back to how I was before starting on this road.

AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are no U turns allowed on this road folks, sorry hope you have your GPS cause now you have to forge a new road and its going to be bumpy.

I almost want to cry, and if you know me you know this I don't cry, as in ever, funeral no tears, broken bone...no tears, broken tooth...ok this one was an almost but teeth and mouth pain is a whole nother can o' worms. Surmise to say I'm not a crier...but some times wonder if I'm missing something on/with/for it. I don't know. Again towards the end you get the random ramblings of a very bored chic, who thinks to much and is in dire need of a swatting....but most likely won't get one :( well at the very least no today....but I'm off work today so there's always tomorrow

HAHAHA trolling for someone to smack bottom, hehehehehe that could be a fun tale, or I'd end up on the other side of the bars at work ( I work at a jail)

game over.....insert more credits

So if you read this blog from the start ( its not the long) you know that I started writing this as a sorta counter part to a blog written by a wife in a Domestic Discipline marriage. Granted it is mostly my feelings and take on the spankings, rules, and such. Well as much as a hate to say it the him part of the duo said we had to have a talk on Saturday, so after I got off work he came over and he talked mostly and I listened adding my 2 cents we need be. All in all with everything going on between army stuff, family stuff, and life stuff there isn't enough time.

Now I have two general trains of thought on this. The stronger and rational one being: ok, I can totally see the point and the why and the how. Yes, your hella fucking busy and she has school and now a job, and plus two kiddos, damn, your just running out of time now!!! The other train is not so nice and I can't rationalize where it came from but goes: damn you to hell, you guys suck. lol, yes I laugh. Because I told my best friend and they where some what mad on my behalf,.....which I didn't get? There is no reason to be mad, why? It isn't like being stringed along, that would suck on a whole nother level and would be madding. Now yes, I wasn't happy about it, I've grown rather attached to them and their family, then it dawns on me, I envy them. God how I envy them. I was prived to the workings of a family on a level I haven't before. That is something I liked greatly and that and much more is just gone. Granted they want to stay friends which is awesome because they are such cool people.



.........but its not the same =(

had to share

saw this on post secret and had to share....it is amazing whats out there you just didn't have the eyes open enough to see it before, then boom I see it more and more.

....

So I start by saying sorry July was so very sparse on the postings. On a spanking stand point you got to know about my one and only spanking for the month....jury is still out on if I'm happy or not on that. Good news is the counter part of my favorite duo is back!!!! but I haven't seen her so it my be a big conspiracy, hahaha. I went out into the wilds again for a camping trip the day she came home so, it was a ships in the night moment.

I had issues with the fact that my radio/stereo in my car stopped working little over a week ago, so on the hourish drive to the place where I was camping over the weekend I got left in my head. Normally that is fine, great even I can entertain myself very well, but this time it just left reflection of deep thoughts from earlier in the week. By the time I got to the camp ground I was the closest to crying that I have been in about 9 years. I hate that all the control I have so careful hoarded and measured out is strained and sadden by the thoughts of wants, needs, and emotions I squashed and gave up on a long time ago. They are there now taunting me, damn things, maybe I didn't want to need or want certain aspects in life, maybe I was ok and prepared even for going with out. The Fates it seems are still just as fickle and ever such the sharing three bitches. *sigh* what do you do.....

OK off the melancholy note, as for more exciting postage, I don't know when that will be, the duo is having some family time, much needed after time apart. So you get the drivel from my head, which shouldn't be any more like the blah from above =) I'm off from now, my blood to be taken errrrgggaa, not really a fan of this game but then who really is?

hello

So Hi, longish time not here. Well my counter part has gone on vacation almost as soon as I came back from mine. Needless to say I have been spending most of my time at their house where my computer in not soo no blogging, not that there was much to say. Most of the last week and half since I returned from the camping wilds was taking up with mundane life tasks of helping my friend get some fundage for her going, unpacking camping stuff, and then once she left I've been car service for him. She hasn't been gone quite a week yet and it wasn't until yesterday I got a spanking and that was only because I had asked the night before as we are going to sleep, why haven't I gotten in trouble for stuff?..note to self don't ask why, hehehehe.

I think in a way I was asking for one, granted when he or rather Sir started pulling multiply implements out of a box, I was hastily rethinking this choice. Particularly after Sir broke a spoon after 2 swats to my behind. After that I didn't look to see what was being used, but the sitting still and not saying anything that I normally do well at, was not there this time. I added to my punishment by sitting back and taking my rump out of the cross hairs a few times. I wonder if I have lost the tolerance that I had or my other thought is because its different when she's not here? Sir had made an appearance on the weekend when we where being goofy and wrestling on the floor, Sir had the upper hand and demanded/asked for my submission and it took a long time till I finally gave in. He said there was going to be a excise in submission later, because of outside stuff that did not happen but I keep thinking about it, wondering what it was or is? Sir is devise like that when you stop thinking about it is when he gets ya...

On a mundane note I got a new job!!!!!!!!YAY...........hehehe I'm going to be working at the county jail.

it should die in a fire!

ok this is a quickie as I'm headed out of town..( http://www.sca.org/ , kingdom of the Outlands , Battlemoore War , just if anyone wanted to know, it will be a few days) any who... so it should die in a fire, she told me that one day and i laughed, i know my fellow compatriot she hates most if not all implements used by Sir but HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, i hate the blind twist, this I know, but Christ almighty do I not like the bath brush he has!!! I'm OK with the paddles at least the 2 that have been used on my rumpas, but that is not like those is doesn't have the stingy, paper cut hurtness i feel for the blind twist, nor does it have the swatting thud that i find manageability soothing of the wood paddle, that mother fucker has weight to one end giving it bite, yes bite and not the fun kind, now maybe its because my back hurts from pulling something at work, but i don't want to do that ever again. my mistake for laughing at the fire comment...said that after it was over she laughed,but Sir reappeared and made stipulations should the bath brush or any of its lil' friends take a vacation, say to a camp fire.....damn it shouldn't have said while he was around... =(......but fire would still be nice...fire + wood (bath brush/paddle) = happy.....wait till something worse that's its place...hummm

Happy 4th of July

finish ummkay

sorry phone cut out so couldnt finish what i had been saying anywho



....turn over one to your tummy, whoot i'm thinking gonna get sum YAY!!!.....annnnt wrong....the swats begain bare hand to a basicly bare ass. so in my smartness between swats i start talking, what, swat, am ,swat. i, swat, gettting, swat, a, swat, beating, swat, for, swat, swat, swat, swat, swat, hello, swat, swat,....swat keep going, and i get a mumbled gonna tell me no, swat, swat,...well i cant say no im going to tell you no, cause thats saying no, so in my blonde moment i say this....swatswatswatswatswatswatswat.....he layed back down...couple mins pass i wimper a little and he looks at mw whats worng? umm my ass is sore but i'm good, confused as hell but good, ok,nite sweety. break to the next day, after noon i get a small beat on with the fish, i'll have to explain fish later..kinda funny, and i'm rubbing the poor abused butt and he askes why, i should be healed from last thursday.....i gave a puzzled look and ask and what about last night? his turn to look puzzled, he has no recollection of us girls coming to bed with him, he thought we sayed up......holy crap i got a sleep walking spanking!!!! ummkay i didnt know that was possible

ummkay

so it been a couple of days but i didnt have computer and doing the blogg thing on the phone is interesting, but giving it a go again. so sunday night we three are going to bed, he was too tired to do anything, awww =( , so i turn the light off as i was the last one in as it was. she tells me wait and turn the switch on and pull the chain so the fan will still run. no biggie, well i had to put pants back on cause i dont know how ya'll sleep but i sleep in a shirt and panties, as i wearing a tong i didnt want my bare butt on display. he appearntly didnt care for that explaination and after i did the fan/light bit, i get into bed he looks at me...

grrrr

.....grrrrr that's all I got, hahaha and it was from me,nothing from no one else. So I was busy yesterday and it was late when I finally got the their house after receiving an order to be there, feet into the house within the next 10mins. I made it with a couple mins to spare, good thing to. Because I'm already in trouble for being late to work yesterday. However I would make the choice to be late again because what made me late helped me, well for the most part.
It's frustrating knowing something that you can't change....ie: today marks Three weeks since I've had a real spanking. by real I mean an all out, your being punished spanking. I got two what I would term as teasers or minis, one wasn't hard or anything more of this is the leather strap and your within striking distance, thought you two should say hello kind of a thing. The other was that mini like four swats with a charger cord, it was bad because I couldn't stop laughing so got two more swats before I had to bite hand to stop till he went up stairs.
Anyways frustrated, because I know I'm due for one, earned punishment yesterday with being late, and have been told I'm being semi-disrespectful or get to big for my britches. Whats so bad about that you ask? Well nothing but he is in class for the next week, so the appearance of Sir most likely not seen for a bit or the end of class. It gives me the "grrr"s. Then I feel guilty cause he cant help that or being tired.
So she and I bicker or what I would call play fight and mostly it is all fun and games. There have been a couple times I wonder about but we work it out. Now we both get told no more got to get along. We are? Just because its not clear to you how we are communicating doesn't mean it isn't working for us.
Ok last part of my venting, so get a text saying I tryed to get a kiss, but you just got up and left. That was yesterday morning. Mmmmkay my bad was still waking up, well then no kiss goodnight, bummer but no big deal. Cut to this morning, alarm goes off several times, its either snoozed or turned off, whatever not mine, mine goes off..SNOOZE, oh button how I love thee, goes off again, I get up gather all my junk, lean over, rub an arm to get attention..what happens, looks at phone to see time "fuck" and closes eyes again, so I kiss a cheek, all I get is a grunt that comes across as don't touch me. Insert sad panda face here. This wasn't a grr as much as a well that sucked in a non-fun way. When I left think I was the only one awake. That just bites

ever get those oddly time contemplative moments, see like most other things in life lately sorta unexpected. see very rarely do have, what to call it, maybe an episode, whoot...like a sitcom...remember those before reality TV...hehehe..anywho, so work today was craptastical and so was Friday, Friday there was a HUGE misunderstanding via text message between me and Sir, cause it got to the point it was Sir and not him. That is something I wonder if there is a more defined moment as to when its fun goofy games to the transformation into the all powerful Sir. To be honest at times its confusing as to when he is serious and to when he is not. Last night I started this entry but the "smart" phone was being an igit. It seems I have gotten in trouble in a way for a bad attitude on Friday and now Monday...get a suto lecture on how just because I have a bad day is no reason to be all huffy and to let shit go. Here is were the episode part comes in, I have a temper I know this but it is one of those slow boil ones, and i have a bad habit of just putting a lid on it till like a pressure cooker I just lose it. So the whole explode thing hasn't happened on months and because of what we are doing I'm making an effort to let shit out before it hits that point. But, both him and her haven't known me long enough to understand that or at the very least know that. I tried to explain but between my inability to talk about feeling stuff face to face and the interruptions that didn't happen. If I was to toss out some 'tude it would go along the lines of I'm owed two back rubs and because he is tired and has to get up way early didn't attempt to jump him. Wait he gets points he brought ice cream to us last night, apparently it was a very trying trip to boot. Part of me says maybe he s right and I need a spanking, cause I haven't gotten one in over two weeks, well not a real one, there was a mini with the strap cause he had it out and a tiny one with a charger cord, I got extra swat with that cause for whatever reason, which I still don't know I could not stop laughing. Which in turn pisses him off and you get the eyebrows and the "so I'm joke to you" spiel, that made it worse, I ended up biting my hand to stop laughing long enough for him to go upstairs, she looked at me like the hells wrong with you, I still have no idea. Kay have to go, enough rambling for now....But YAY!!! for 24hour king soopers, we did a like midnight grocery run...I bought good hot dogs with buns and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies...yummy!!!!!

what the hell was i thinking

Ohhh...what hell was i thinking....you see 1.i hate writing 2. my spelling is horrid 3. i have enough to do 4. why not?

sooo that's one loop in the mass highway system of my brain. i think i started this as a way to say the things i have such issues trying to say out loud. maybe....maybe not.....i have no idea currently....spur of the moment choice....whoot...

I'm involved in a relationship that is complicated in the very least to my own eyes. see its a couple, they are married and have a beautiful family. she calls me their speical friend, i don't know what he defines it as. i asked once what he told people, as he had just asked me, he said a couple guys at work knew that he has a wife and this girl that he beats on who likes it and they fuck. i should explain the "beats on" bit humm, see they as a couple do domestic discipline, so there is that too. add to that a Dominate/submissive aspect to the dynamic as a whole. does your brain hurt yet.. :) they asked if i was ashamed of what is going on, and I'm not but makes me wonder if they are, they say no but sometimes i still wonder. she asks a lot of the time "whats going on in your head or what are you thinking" some times i really dont know and i think that frustrates her, as she whats to talk about it, other times there is this block in my throut and the words just cant escape, i hate when it happens when he is asking questions during discipline or a leacture, cause then i get the eyebrows of doom...secretly at times i find them sexy as hell...lets hope he don't find that out.now oddly enough if you would have told me a year ago I'd be involved like this, i would have laughed at you, hell even 6 months ago. but it seems right, well....most days, sometimes it fells like I'm intruding, for example i walked into a room and they where talking they both stop and look at me till i finish and leave the room, now not saying that's bad i don't want it to come across that way. just feeling in the pit of stomach of holy crap intruding *abort*abort*move as fast as possible away*beep*beep* however then there is the time that is just awesome to be at their house, cause I've spent most if not all of my free time there. hahaha i teased my room mates girl friend that she is always at our house, paying rent on a shower and changing room....hummm i live in a glass house so it seems...note to self no throwing stones ;)

oyi yes I'm rambling, my grammar sucks, but i work on that later. but i have to run, cant be late for work or gets me a smack bottom...yup...yup...life gets intresting when we least expect it